I use this term as a catch all for the legions of petty bureaucrats who patrol the networks, airwaves and brain waves of anyone foolish enough to work here, they can be found in all areas and at all levels rather like the State run informers of Stalin’s Russia some are obvious (the one that sends endless dull mails about not surfing left handed websites at work and encouraging you to ’shop’ your colleagues for accepting a gift worth less than last years payrise), some less so (treacly voice and car salesman persona, no real discernible job and always in meetings with management types) and some so deep cover they probably don’t even know it (anyone with a microchip inserted somewhere painful or bearing a passing resemblance to Matt Damon)
Himmler himself would be proud of the way the thought police here have carried forward his brain child, the Gestapo might be dead and buried and free speech might now be alive and well in the former Soviet states (ish) but one step out of line in this place and its the gulags for you! An uncharitable thought, an email containing anything ‘inappropriate (what a catch all that is!) or being caught grafetting the toilets with Swastikas (what!?! I like the shape!) and you are for it.
The weapons of the Thought Police range from simple propaganda and intimidation (is your name on a non compliance email circulation list?) through pressure and extortion (have they gone straight to your boss with their unfounded accusations) sentencing people to attend brain washing and indoctrination programs (if you are directed to attend any course with ‘diversity’ in the title, be afraid, be very afraid….) all the way to making people disappear forever, all traces of them expunged permanently by the specially trained desk clearing security guard.
Its worth pointing out that you may live in a democracy, one that your grandparents fought to preserve, you might read constantly in the news about human rights and freedom of speech but you can be sure the place you work sits somewhere to the far right of Pol Pot as far as your liberties are concerned!
Remember……the walls have ears
3 responses so far ↓
Jeans for Middle Aged Simpletons Day « RealLifeDilbert’s Weblog // October 7, 2008 at 5:03 pm |
[...] help is at hand and from a rather unexpected source,you’ll never guess it reader, its the thought police! Prior to the aforementioned charitable event day posters and email proclamations have been [...]
Bernard the Bottom Feeder « RealLifeDilbert’s Weblog // October 21, 2008 at 5:09 pm |
[...] hundreds of red audit items and wrecked careers later Bernard is in the upper echelons of the ‘Thought Police’, he has married a bipolar Traffic Warden with webbed feet called Inga and they have a lovely son [...]
Bah Humbug « RealLifeDilbert’s Weblog // December 15, 2008 at 4:39 pm |
[...] in to discuss a communication received this morning from the third directorate (facilities) of the ‘Thought Police’. The catchily entitled ‘Guidelines for Festive Seasonal Office Decoration’ firstly [...]